Letter #57

May 17th

This letter will probably be short, but I can not begin to even explain how thankful I am for AMAZING parents, and family, and friends! The support has been amazing! 

I always have and always will love the song "Let it Be". The words are powerful! 

And changing some of the words, "when I find myself in times of trouble", my Savior says to me, "speaking words of wisdom, let it be"

"and in my hour of darkness he is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be."

This week has been hard, along with past weeks, but I know too that Satan see's the great and marvelous work that is coming forth! And it is him wanting me to go home!

I KNOW I CAN DO THIS! It's not going to be nor is it supposed to be easy, but there are souls that I KNOW I knew in the  pre-existance that I promised I would find them and bring them the gospel! 

Plus, the thought of leaving Adrian, Victor, Emilio, Ray and Ben rips my heart apart! How or WHY would I leave them when I love them so much and I know, I needed them...and they needed me!

I love this gospel and even more, I love my Savior! It's hard, because I wish he was right there literally holding my hand, actually wrapped up in his arms, but I know, that that is why I have the boys and Ben, because "it is often through other mortals that he meets our needs!"

I love you all, thank you for all the letters and support, there is a work I NEED to do in NEW MEXICO!!

Sister Markus :)

Letter #56

May 10th

This letter will probably be shorter, but good!

This week has been hard! And i mean HARD. Sister Toomey was sick, so we couldn't go out and work much, so I had plenty of time so dwell on how unhappy I was. But slowly it was getting better.

Sunday was good, getting to talk with you all. It is amazing how that really just re-pumps me up and gets me excited to keep pushing and keep serving! 

Also in church they gave all the women flowers and they gave us a flower! Then, I think this was the cherry on top of EVERYTHING, we went to stop by and see Brother Varela (the boys dad)

and when I first met him he said "Sister Markus, who's your favorite band? I said, The Beatles!" 

haha he loves the Beatles too! Well we went to stop by Sunday night just to say hi and he said oh! Sister Markus I have something for you!

AHHH!!!! An original meet the Beatles record! ahhh!! ahhh! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! hahah

which I thought was so funny after Milly showed my the video of the Beatles! Maybe that was Heavenly Father telling me to listen to Let it Be (which i did ;)

so Sunday was perfect!!! :)

I also went and talked with the counselor guy today, at 9:00. and it was soooo good! SO good! He was sooo nice and so helpfull and something he kept telling me was "Sister Markus I just want to listen to you, I want to help you and just listen to you!"

Ahh and it hit me, honestly I think that is what I needed. I don't have my momma here to listen to me and to love and help me and THAT is what I needed! And so he listened! And HELPED!! 

I already feel so much better, and he understands how I feel about President Miller and you know! ahhh that is what I needed!

I cant thank everyone enough for all of the love and support! THANK YOU!

I love you, and I know I need to quit being too crazy and stressed about being perfect, maybe this week, we will go get a shake at Sonic! hahaha ;)

But seriously, I love you! I'm beyond blessed to have you as my family! And that I have you forever!

Love Sister Markus :)

Pictures From the Mission Field

these are my boys! haha the youngest is now 8 and oldest 14 but i love them! i am 100% sure i was their pre-existence older sister! :)

Me and Sister Kelso

Letter #55

May 3rd 

We will start with the good first, that's always a good way to start!

Wed:

We saw Drew and Renee! She is soo golden, they were telling us that they met with her church to see if it was a path that they should take and I guess they really didn't like it, but when we came over she said she just felt so good and happy! The spirit of course! :) So we went and taught the Plan of Salvation, that was cool because Drew who is less active had tears in his eyes the whole time, the spirit was soooo strong, that is something I will miss, and something I love so much,  it is teaching people about the joys of the gospel and instantly seeing them feel that same joy! We committed Renee to baptism and she said she would pray about it! YES! We see her today, I'm excited! 

Then super cool, so back to Sunday, we cover two wards and when we have ward council with both we are at the church at 7:30 and don't leave till 4:00. I love it, but I am also starving after, so I always pack half the fridge in my bag on those days. Well a member noticed and he said he'd hook us up! Whatever that means! haha Then  wed. he called us and told us to meet at this other members house, we pull up and he told us to pull up our car...we were so confused and then he put all this food in our trunk! 

Oh man how sweet was that?!

Friday!!!!!!

Guess who I got to see on Friday?!!!

ahhh I was more excited to see them than when I saw Paul McCartney! yup! And I mean that with every fiber of my being! these boys, ah, I KNOW I knew them, and I KNOW I promised them that I would help them! I love them!  Things are going so much better. Not all gone, but better. I feel like that is how Heavenly Father works in our life..... that we go through a insanely hard time, and then he HELPS lift the burden, doesn't take it 100% away, but lifts it so we can grow!

We also saw a newer investigator, Rose, that day! She is so sweet, but has a really hard life! Really hard! But she is progressing well!

So Saturday we found out that , Sister Kelso left me and I was really sad! She helped me a lot and put up with me a lot. I will miss her a ton! 

I have been having a really hard time. I feel like I am at a constant tug of war with my brain. One day I'm happy, the next I just have to pull my self along. It has gotten a lot more frequent... I don't know whats wrong and honestly I feel like I can't turn to President Miller for help which is so hard because I feel like he is someone I should be able to reach out to. I just ugh...  I called him yesterday finally asking for help, which was sooo hard for me! He told me I need to start looking on the out side! jsalghaljha;sga

But I need help! I don't know whats wrong with me and I don't know what to do!!!! There are times we are at members house and I just want to lay on the couch and stay there forever, I want to go home early beacuase I feel like I can't keep pulling myself.

So anyways, President is having me go talk to some guy in family services next Tuesday.. I hope this helps.... 

The Elders came over and gave me a blessing, it was really good, and it helps, but sometimes I feel like only a few days later the spirit of that blessing fades...

but this was a good one so lets hope it'll last me till next Tuesday... 

I want to get over this, I want to just be happy! But its hard...

I pray daily and I am beyond grateful for prayer, I can just talk to my Heavenly Father, council and plea for help!

I love you!  And no I don't want to go home and I don't want that to have to be something that happens! I love this mission way too much! It has changed me more than anything else ever could!

Love you,

Love Sister Markus

Letter #54

April 26th

So yet another crazy but exciting time here in Zion!

Tue. we went and had dinner at the Walkers, I love that family! Their son left on a mission one month after me and he is in Mexico. After dinner they showed us the Hill Cumorah pageant, they are in it and man it looks cool!  I'd love to go see it! They were telling us all the cool tricks on how they do different things!  Then we taught Drew and Renee, they are new! He is a less active member and she isn't and they are about to have a baby and they want to know what path to take. They are just the sweetest!  We are also seeing them tonight! :)

Wed... oh man... so we went on exchanges, but I went on exchanges, with my SLT who is... Sister Baker, aka the sister who trained me, which I thought would be fun and all this stuff. Nope, I think I have PTSD from the mission...... because well first, she still thought that I was the same Sister Markus from a year ago and she pointed out a lot of my flaws.... ugh, I was telling her I needed help with and she said oh yeah I remember in Rio Rancho you weren't very good at that...ugh! Then all day I felt like she was evaluating me from a year ago and I just remembered how hard everything was at the beginning, no fun! So I was super grateful to get Sister Kelso back!

Friday- we had district meeting and it was good. It is getting warm here, it is in the high 70's/ 80's! And you know IM TAN! Wow! Who knew that was possible! Also.... I'm in love with the heat! Like how hot it is now, I would be dying back home! So I love the heat and the cold is soo hard! hahaha we also had a lesson with Terella, she is so sweet! We tracked into her and she was crying telling us this is what  she needed! Well, when we taught her, her family is moving to Florida! Oh man... but that's ok, missionaries there will teach her!

Saturday- well I got the letter about our home! HOLY HANNAH! Wow! I was telling Sister Kelso I remember when you all took me to the MTC and Amanda told me to look at the house one last time because I'd never see it again (because she wanted to moved) haah but now I will never really see it again! hahaha it seems weird! You'll have to take lots of pictures!

I told our investigator Carl about that and so he just assumed I was going home to see the house and when I told him I wasn't he about fell over! hahaha 

Also, we had dinner at Nelline and Bens,, and we had Navajo burgers... I think I have gone to heaven! Oh man, so not good for you, but they are AMAZING!!!!! :)

Then yesterday we found out with my boys that we haven't seen in a month that the older two can stay with their dad and another hearing is coming and anyways its good! Good things to come!!! YAY!!! And we will for sure get to see them this week! Oh man I am soooooo excited! I love them and I'm missing them even more! :)

Prayer is soooo real! I loved that talk mom you sent me about prayer by that lady, anymore talks by her? I loved it!!!

This week is also transfers! ahh who knows what will happen! I think I will stay!

Well, I love you all! Thanks for everything!!!

Hermana Marquez :)

Letter #53

April 19th

Man, has it really been one year? That just doesn't seem real! 

This week we have seen some progress. Its like we were doing so well and then, bam. But its good because its teaching me lots of things! Ben is doing better, after his 2nd, yes 2nd trip to the ER things are getting better! I do believe in prayers and know that Heavenly Father is constantly looking out for each one of his kids knowing what they need and when they need it!

Its cool because one of the wards is having a hard time, the members are not really into missionary work, and so we have been praying and fasting that ward trust will get better! So we made cookies and ended up taking them to the Bishop and his councilors, that was fun, we had an extra set of cookies so we took them to our Ward Mission Leader's wife, she was just outside and we told her how we aren't teaching very many people in that ward and losing some investigators, and I guess her neighbor had been on her mind and so she took us over and we are now teaching them, so we will see how it goes :)

On Friday we had a lesson with Ignacio, haha that guy, but we had it at the church, and  after there was a husband and wife and their one year old girl who was in a car. and they came up to our member and us and asked if we could help them. They needed a place to stay or money for gas because they were going to AZ to help his mom. Honestly my first thought  was ... hmmmm..... I don't know about this..

But our member offered them to stay at her house (where she has 5 kids) man the spirit hit me! Would I do that? Then long story short she bought them a hotel for the night! It reminds me of the scripture Matt 25:35 

May this week we all show that Christ like love to EVERYONE! Not just people we know! But the ones we haven't met, the ones that are a stranger!

I love you all!

Sister Markus

Letter #52

April 12th

Oh man, So Ben...
He for 4 weeks was doing so well! Not drinking, they were going to get married we had him on date for baptism for April 30th... but then the day after we set that he started drinking.... Wednesday it was just getting worse! He was drinking so much that he could barely talk!  Thursday we didn't go see him because he left to go drink! ugh! I hate Satan so much, its like when people take 5 steps forward he knocks them back 3 steps! 

Well, then Nelline told us that Thursday morning they (Nelline and her daughter and her little baby boy ) went to walk outside, and Ben was out side on the door step of the apt, passed out... he couldn't remember anything that happened to him, he had nothing on him, no shoes, shirt, phone nothing, just shorts.... UGH!!!! 

So Friday we go over to see him, and as we pull up to the apt we see him across the way in a field... just walking around, so what do we do, Sister Kelso  is trying to whistle at him and I....yup waving my arms around like a chicken yelling after him....never would I have thought, one year,...when I was in the MTC, that one year later I would be standing on the streets of Albuquerque yelling at my drunk investigator....oh boy... he came over and we asked him what he was doing, he was looking for a friend that would know what would have happened to him.. we talked with Nelline...and  it is so hard on her, she wants nothing more than a temple marriage and to go to the temple! sakhfahgsgh Well, after we left seeing Nelline, we saw Ben on the side of the road covered in dirt, and the police were talking to him, we called Nelline and they ended up taking him to the hospital, he had alcohol poisoning...UGH! He should have died the Dr. said!!!! well Saturday he just slept a lot not feeling well after coming home!

Then Sunday he wasn't there at church. Nelline said he was still having a hard time and that hes sleeping up and that he should start doing better. Well that night she called us and we went over and....he had left, packed all his stuff and left! salfhaslfhsd AHHH! But, then the next day we get a call, he came back and....I guess that night he had prayed and just wanted to talk to his kids, and then they called, he prayed that he could get a good job that would help him,,, and he did! He learned a lot about prayer. That night Bishop went over and gave him a blessing! YES!!!

and...... Ben and Nelline are getting married this Friday and we will be their witnesses! Wow..! Don't know whats happening but prayer CAN change lives! He is doing better! PLEASE keep him in your prayers, he sooo  badly wants to make the 30th! And we will see, if we have to move it a week or so later no worries, but HE wants it to be the 30th! oh man!:)

My boys....

Still haven't seen them! UGH SATAN IS SOOO DUMB!!! But poor Brother Varela, he hasn't seen or TALKED with the boys in 3 weeks... its killing him, you can hear it in his voice when he talks with us..... please keep him and my boys in your prayers too!  

The hardest part about a mission is to see the ones you come to love so much, suffer. You wish you could do anything ANYTHING to take it away... but I am a firm believer we all have to have some sorta of a Alma the Younger experience . That is how we grow, we can not just live life and go on. We MUST have experiences, personal experiences that God is real, that He knows us and is there to pick us up!

This last week was hard, BUT...

We got a new investigator last week! :) She is the best and I can feel it!  You know, on Monday when I woke up, I could just FEEL,, this is a week of miracles and blessings!!

I LOVE this work, and that is an understatement, there is NO greater blessing than serving the Lord!

Remember too back home, to be a missionary!

Love Sister Markus :)

Letter #51

April 5th

This week has been slow, a lot slower, it’s like we took one giant step forward, and Satan has tried to knock us 5 steps back, but Be is dumb anyways so..

Wed. We saw Ben and Ignacio! And we got them both on date for baptism so pray that they will make it!

They are progressing really well. A cool story with Ignacio is that we were going to stop teaching him, and we had a member over- brother Moses- and Ignacio has really BAD knees like if he sits for too long then it’s hard

for him to get up, he moves real slow, anyways we were in this lesson and brother Moses asks if he can give Ignacio a blessing, and it was a really cool blessing but after Ignacio was kind of like whatever, ugh!

Well the next time we came by (which was wed)

We went over and he said, sisters that guy that was over that put his hands on my head healed me! And he was jumping and sitting on a lazy boy and pulling his feet up! It was amazing! Ignacio was healed! Haha soooo cool!

We talked about the priesthood and then we got him on date! That was sooo cool! Ahhhh!

Thursday we had zone conference! That was good, but weird to think that was probably President Millers last one! Weird! But it was super good!

Friday I hit one year! What ONE YEAR!!!! That doesn’t even seem real! One year?

I don’t know, too weird!  But... that was a REALLY bad day... hahahahahaha

So I had my camera... and all my pictures I had taken since Feb 23... Got deleted. Yup gone. ...

I cried and cried and cried......and cried some more!

Then Ben started drinking again...lessons fell through...ugh!

But we had dinner at the Holley’s and I looove that family, they have the twins! And it made it a little better!

But she told me of a member who’s in the Taylor Ranch ward who is super smart and could fix my pictures!

SO ON SUNDAY HE CALLED US AND HE GOT ALL MY PICTURES BACK! OH I WAS SO EXCITED!!!

Thank you Heavenly Father for smart people who can fix dumb peoples mistakes!

Kind of like us and the Savior 
:)

Anyways this week will be better I demand it! They boys are coming back and they are just what I need! Haha

I love you all!

Conference was amazing!

And if you’re reading this and you aren’t a member....

Become one!

Love Sister Markus :)

Letter #50

March 29th

So this week was pretty slow!

Wednesday I woke up not feeling good. I guess there is a cold going around and that wasn't fun. Also with all of our lessons we have been wanting to find those who are really elect and ready to act on the things we teach. And with it being Easter, not very many people were home, or didn't want to meet with us. But it will be good!

My boys are still gone with their mom, but we are hoping to see them Friday when they come up! I miss them! Their dad Brother Varela is getting ready to go to the temple! It is soo cool to see converts go to the temple because really that is such the goal for these people! Baptism is the first step, it opens the gate to the temple!

Oh my goodness and then we had the women’s conference! ahhh I am addicted to conference! Oh how I love it sooo much! And this one soo much too! You know, I haven't really thought what to do after the mission, but I have been able to watch meet the Mormons a little and there is the man from India who does humanitarian help! And then women’s conference! AH I WANT TO DO THAT! I want to go somewhere and just serve and love and help people to have a better life!!!!!

sooo bad! So maybe that is what I’m supposed to do :)

I would love that! So much!

Then on Sunday, in Taylor ranch ward there were these members who are way amazing, I mean they went to school for it at playing cello and harp! Ahhhh and they played savior redeemer of my soul!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhh I LOOOVE that song!

And when he started playing the cello is just vibrated my soul! The spirit was soo strong! And then the primary kids sang that song you told me about mom! ahhh I cried, how beautiful! I love music! Then Sister Kelso and I played violin in cottonwood, it was the song gethsemane! ahhhhhhhhh and 3 of the primary girls sang, it was just GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!

And so many ward members gave us Easter candy! Oh man!

But Sunday night......

I thought I was dying, I mean it was a nice thought to maybe go AS a servant of the lord, but oh my gosh, I have NEVER had ANYTHING like that before,

It was coming out both ends,

Cold sweats,

Sleeping on the bathroom floor,

Calling the mission president’s wife at 1:00 am

Oh man it was ruff... hahaha its funny now, but I was sure I was dying. There was one point I looked in the mirror and I just had cold sweats and I was dying and I was sooo pale I thought I was going to die!

Our bathroom is connected to the bedroom, so I was laying half in the bathroom half in the bedroom and I said

"Sister Kelso I think I’m going to pass out, I’ve never passed out,!"hahaha

Oh it was bad, and the worst part is, you just want your mom... but I’m doing better, my zone leaders gave me a blessing, and I’m doing better!

hahaha well sorry this letter is kind of lame, but I love you all!!!

Seeeester Markus!

Letter #49

March 22nd

Oh man, yes i got to stay in this area! If i left, i think i would have died! That would have been the hardest thing to ever do!

So 

Wednesday:

We have been sooo blessed with having a ton of lesson! and its not like we have like 19 people we are teaching, but they are all just progressing so well that we see them a lot during the week! 

so we saw norbert, she is semi interested! soon to be really interested! ;) then we saw wheeler! he is someone who reads at mass and really involved with his church! but he said he would come to church and he did! ahh it was great! it is so cool to see the spirit just work through people! :)

Ben is doing good, we saw him next! They (Ben and nelline) are getting close to getting married and then ben will get baptized! i love them! and ben got sick (i cant remember if i told you this) but he got sick and so now he can't have alcohol YAY! that is the hardest thing for him! but he is taking these meds and if he drinks itll make him more sick then he is now!prayers are heard and answered! its good! then we got to see my boys! i love them :)

thursday we saw the boys again! they were supposed to go back down with their mom but they are staying here! we werent sure what was going on! but we hope they get to stay because, its hard for them at their moms and its just good for them to be up here! we had dinner and she made AMAZING lettus wrapps! mmmmm! so yummy!

Friday was crazy! all our lessons dropped! and we didnt get to see the boys! which was sad. their dad called and told us a little what happened but he said we could ocme by tomorrow for dinner and to see them!

saturday......

that was crazy... a lot happened and changed.. but we were excited after a kionda harder day to see our boys.. but they were there... their dad sat us on the couch and told us everything that happened... i just cried. man. have my eyes opened to how much satan wants to jsut rip apart familes! i hate him! ugh ugh ugh! i honestly don't understand how i got so "lucky"... the day the boys get to be with their dad is going to be the best day ever! we were talking and how cool itll be to see them row up and serve missions! ahhh i love them!

sunday! AHHHHHHHH

BEST SUNDAY YET! in the taylor ranch ward there were two speakers who ahhh tahts how i want to be, i dont even know how to explain it! it was 100% by the spirit and they talked about the atonement! my favorite ever!!!  one man talked about how his 4 year old after all her life of having health problems had to have the thing done where a tube went her nose through  her throat into her stomach.... and she had to be awake! there was specialist there asking how she could helpy distract the daughter and he said i think if she can look into my eyes and i can look into hers itll be ok. and then they ask she they restrain her ands... AHHH oh my goodness, and he said no! and he said as it started he was laying by her and was about 6 inches from her face and she didnt flinch or scream nothing, tears filled her eyes but she just continued to look at her dad. and he talked about how our heavenly father is only 6 inches away from us! that he didnt want his daughter to go through that but it was need for her health, and we go through things in life that are hard and our heavenly father doesnt want us to, but knows it is to strengthen us and so he is constantly there saying "i want to be the one 6 inches from your face!" alma 7:11-12 <3

ahhh soooo good! i loooveed it!

then our WML introduced us to a mom and her daughter from a reservation in cottonwood heights ward and they were soo sweet! well they we went to gospel principals and the wml wasnt there, he was giving the daughter (19 maybe 20yrs) a blessing! so i just picked up a book and started teaching class and i was praying to have the spirit because i never loked at hte lesson before or nothing! but it was good, mid was through they wml and the daughter and mom walked in!  and the lesson was on jesus christ! and i was looking around the room and all the sudden i just locked eyes with they girl i had NEVER met before and i just look right at her and said, " youre heavenly father knows you personally and knows where you are in your life and how to help"

well as always when you do somthing like that the spirit promts you to do more! and i felt like i jsut needed to give her a hug, and iw as fine with that but i had enver met her before and i didnt want her to think i was crazy! but after the lesson (oh and a little during the lesson she was crying a bit) and i went up to her and i said i know i dont know you, but i feel like i just need to come and give you a hug! and i gave her the biggest tightest hug ever! and i said ifelt like i need to hug you and i know i dont know you, but youre heavenly father does and so really this is just a hug from him! and i thought to myself, hmm ok! haha i wasnt event thinking it was all just flowing out! haha and then she gave me anpther hug and thanked me. i told her the quotes by pres spencer w kimball i cant remember it word for word but something along the lines of heavenly father hears our prayers but ofton answers them though another mortal!

i soon found out she wasnt a member and is taking the lessons! how cool! im addictied to being an instramemnt in my heavenly fathers hands!

i love my mission and it is THE best thing i could have ever done in this life! 

I love you all! :)

Seester markus