Letter #30

NOVEMBER 9^th

So a ton has happened this transfer! 3 areas, 4 companions, and a ton more.

A lot that has happened this transfer is honestly sacred to me, I am not going to share all of it but I will tell you what happened this week.

So going back to my 3rd transfer, I thought when I was praying I was talking to a wall and just felt like God wasn’t even there listening...

Well speed up to now... wow..

Well, my anxiety has been sooo bad! Like ugh wow wow wow! So if you remember Elder Ah Loy who was my first Zone leader and we went to Bingham together etc. Well, currently he is an assistant to the President and is going home on Wednesday! He’s finished his mission……… crazy!!! I felt like I just became such good friends with him. When I get a blessing I want it to be by someone who knows me!

So I’m here in Los Lunas about 40 mins from where Elder Ah Loy is and so when I got here I was just praying to Heavenly Father that I needed Elder Ah Loy to come and give me a blessing.

Well this this last Saturday - Tuesday it was bad. I have never felt like that before and I hated it! I didn’t want to do anything and it was just super hard! So Tuesday night I was praying hard! And I just needed Elder Ah Loy to give me a blessing!

Then that night I had a dream that he came and was able to give me an amazing blessing! There were a ton of people in the room and I was just so happy! There was a sister writing it all down for me (the blessing).  I told Elder Ah Loy I needed him to take my anxiety away! But in the blessing he told me he couldn't take it away because it was going to be able to help others….

So I wake up sooo needing him to come help me! I tell my STL’s that I need him to come. So they have to ask our zone leaders to ask the APs to come…….right.  Well, since Elder Ah Loy is leaving they are training a new AP. 

So the sisters say that they are going to see if they can get Elder Ah Loy to come give me a blessing! Then I get a text saying that he won’t be able to come.  I cried sooo hard! I was so mad! All day I was just saying no, I know he has to come!

After I found out he couldn’t come I was yelling at Heavenly Father. How could I have such a great hope and go through so many hard things and not have him come!

 So all day I was having a hard hard hard time!!!!  I knew our zone leaders were coming over and coming to visit us, so then they came and our STL’s (So now 6 missionaries counting us!) were over.

One Elder actually has really bad anxiety so he was able to help me and stuff!! That was great! Then I was about to ask for a blessing but I just thought to wait... then there was a knock at the door! I thought it was our district leader, then it was ELDER AH LOY!!

I just started crying and crying!!! I asked him who told him to come and he was sooo confused! He was like, what? What is going on? And I said who told you to come, and he told us no one! He said that on Monday they had planned to come see us, then that day (wed) they were going to go see the backup companions instead of us, but he said no lets go see the Los Lunas Sisters.

I have NEVER had something like that happen! And my testimony of prayer grew! I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord hears us! He hears every spoken and unspoken prayer!!!

Elder Ah Loy gave me a blessing on Wednesday! Counting us there were 9 missionaries, and the one sister wrote down my blessing, and he said some of the same things in the blessing that I had a dream about! He also said some pretty amazing other things!!!

I LOVE prayer. I know the power of the priesthood is REAL! And I LOVE this gospel! I have been doing a ton better! I haven’t had anxiety since then!!!!

It’s getting better! I love you all :)

Sister Markus