Sunday, August 21, 2016

Letter #64

July 12th 

2 Nephi 33:3"But I, Nephi, have written what I have written, and I esteem it as of great worth, and especially unto mypeople. For I pray continually for them by day, and mine eyes water my pillow by night, because of them;and I cry unto my God in faith, and I know that he will hear my cry."

The boys didn't come up this week. Ugh, I have finally found what the hardest thing and part of missionary work is. It is that you come to these different places and you find people that you know you knew in the pre existence and you love them unconditionally. A love that is so deep, and then you serve them, pray for them, teach them and you want nothing but happiness for them. But then you see them in a deepening trial that just breaks your heart! 

As I have been on my mission I have truly come to know and understand how amazing and special this gospel is as Lehi said:
 " And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to bedesirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit."
It seriously kills me when people don't want any part of this gospel. Why would you deprive yourself of such joy? 

Ben and Nelline have been still struggling, he got in a fight with Nelline's brothers and was flown to UNM. He's doing better, Brother Varela doesn't have the boys and the mom is trying to guilt trip Adrian about being with his dad, not sure if we are going to get permission from the mom about the baptism, and when we were talking to just  Adrian the other day, he's not sure if its true and its not really on his top of the list of most important things. AHH that about KILLED me when he told me that! But I have to remember he is a teen age boy and he is 14 and when I was 14 I wasn't 100% converted... ahhh I just want him to enjoy the blessings of the gospel!!

Then it makes me think I don't want kids.... haha..... because it would be so scary to know if they are going to be converted! Ahhh man I just love this gospel and EVERYONE needs to taste of that great white fruit!

I LOVE my mission and I have learned a lot! I want to so badly carry these peoples burdens and not let them suffer, but then I am reminded that, that is why we have a wonderful Savior. Who I am sure EVERYDAY is begging each of us to just please use his Atonement and to let him carry us! I can only imagine what our Heavenly Father feels with children who don't have the gospel or who have gone a stray and are lost!

But I am eternally grateful that they are constantly there, I'm forever grateful for this mission and how hard it has been! Wow, who knew I'd say that, but I am! I AM GRATEFUL MY MISSION HAS BEEN SO HARD! Because if it wasn't, I wouldn't be who I am, or where I am today!

I love you all more than you will ever know! Thank you for the prayers and support!

Sister Markus

No comments:

Post a Comment