Letter #14

Oh my goodness....I was praying this would be a better week...but wow.... Heavenly Father is 110% testing me right now... ugh!

So Tuesday...that was just crazy...hot mess Monday for sure carried over to Tuesday! Nothing went as planned and it was crazy! Wednesday we just did service where we go to St. Felix and help there! It is awesome because they love us and give us stuff and they are just the sweetest people! While we were there we met this lady who was super nice. We were talking to her and she’s like "oh Mormon missionaries, I think I live by some!" so that was cool she was super nice! But then the rest of the day didn’t go as planned, No one was home or wanted to talk to us...it’s hard because I feel like this area is going bad because of me...I know you’re all shaking your heads and say no, but it’s just what I feel like! 

Thursday, well let me back up. I can’t remember everything I put in my last letter and the weeks all mash together so I never know. hah but, I feel like it’s the beginning of my mission, I pray and ask the Lord for help and comfort in my trials...and I feel like I’m not getting answers. And at this point I don’t care what answer it is...I just need an answer... its hard when I feel like God isn’t helping me in my trials but I have to tell people that they can pray to God and he will answer. I was really having a hard time and feeling like I was a bad missionary... and I just felt like I needed to talk to President but then I thought no I don’t want to bug him. OK well now Thursday.. We were on exchanges and found out.. President was coming to do interviews! Wow that was an answer to prayer! I love talking to him because you can just tell he really does love us and sincerely cares about us! I walked in and we sat down and after we had a word of prayer he looked and me and said Sister Markus- you’re being too hard on yourself and need to stop! Haha that is so true.. I know I am hard on myself but it’s hard not to be because I know I should be doing things better... anyways I told president how I really needed to talk to him so I was happy he came. That really was an answer to pray.

Also I don’t think I have ever told you about this because I just forget.  But a few apartment doors down from me there’s a Spanish family. They are all so nice but I don’t speak Spanish and they don’t speak English. Well guess what....

There is a daughter who lives there and she IS SPECIAL NEEDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh and I can’t help but think that every time I see her (which is almost every day) it’s a blessing! I’m 100% sure that we were BFFS in the pre earth life and that God knew I needed her! On my bad days I always see her a ton and she always gives me big hugs and Ahhhh it’s so great! Her mom will come and sort of say hi! Well one day I felt like I should tell the Spanish sisters about her, and they talked to her and are now teaching the family! I guess they told the Hermanas how happy they are every time I talk to their daughter and her older sister is always excited when I am so nice to her! But it’s just so easy, I just LOVE special needs kids and I know God put her in my life for my hard days!

But this week has been hard no lies! Within the last two weeks I have lost 6 investigators/potentials. One of them Paul who is older! Ok he is amazing! He just learned to fast and accepted everything we taught and just knew it was true; we were going to put him on a baptism date....but then I found out he’s not in my area...so we had to pass him off to elders and gave those same elders 2 other potentials! Ahhhh then one of my SUPER solid investigators moved and Dennis.....ugh.

Dennis is the first person I taught when I got here to Rio Rancho... he holds a special place in my heart even if sometimes he drives me crazy and I saw him progress sooo much! And now he’s just falling and I feel terrible...and then we had a lesson and a member hurt his feelings and....now Dennis doesn’t want to meet with us...we try talking to him but no answer.....

My heart hurts..... Ugh!!!! so that’s been hard that all the other surrounding areas here are doing amazing and baptizing and find new people and I just feel like we are dropping..... but I know I know.... great things are about to happen... it’s a test... when I do find that one person great will be my joy....but right now... it’s hard! Hahahah

Don’t get me wrong I love my mission...but yes IT’S HARD!!!!

Well I love you all soo much!!!!!!

Sister Markus :)